[ Pdf Mr. Mercedes Ø home-economics PDF ] by Stephen King ✓ g-couture.co.uk

[ Pdf Mr. Mercedes Ø home-economics PDF ] by Stephen King ✓ I can t deny that I still need to read a lot to get to know Stephen King s work in novels Basically my contact with his work has been on the adaptations of his works on films, mini series, and on, that in that regard it has been quite a lot since I have watched almost all the major adaptations made.
However, I thought that this book can be a priceless option since not only didn t require having read any other book before, but also, himself had described as his first hard boiled detective novel, so, it meant that this supposed to be away from his traditional horror books knowing well that he has written other kind of stories besides horror genre s pieces.
Something that I truly like was that he did some references to other of his novels but using the film adaptations of them, in that way, it was clear to me that this story was in a different universe than the one of the previous horror novels that it s usual to have some cross over references implying that the characters exist in the same shared book universe a single moment of forgetfulness had led to horrific consequences.
It was an odd experience, since while I need to read material from Stephen King, I have read a lot by Dean Koontz, and I found several similarities on this story I know that daring to comment something like that must be like compare a Star Trek novel with one of Star Wars, however I did found some elements traditional to get in Koontz s books A smart dog, a peculiar female character on a prominent support role, a car chase kinda , a psychotic killer, and there is must be something else, but so far, those are which came to mind now Also, while this is supposed to be first by King on this genre, well, honestly, Koontz has written several novels on this narrative style, with a protagonist dealing with some wacko psycho killer who wants the protagonist to die, just that those were refering as horror novels, without a so clear distinction to be considered hard boiled detective novel.
That that gets me to another point Honestly, I didn t felt it as a hard boiled detective novel, or even a detective novel in a general sense True, the protagonist is a detective, a retired police detective to be specific, but having a detective as protagonist doesn t make a book a detective novel in my opinion Due that since the beginning you know who the antagonist is, you know who did the crime, and at least for me, the main fun in a detective novel is the struggling to find the culprit But here, is basically a manhunt True, he needed to use some deduction skills to find the identity of the killer that it s kinda boring since one the reader knows it from the beginning even to contact people to help him in doing that, that even that at some moments was maddening since some explanations of why the killer did his tricks were too obvious so waiting a lot of pages to certify something that you already know how was done was shocking in the bad sense almost never won a kewpie doll at the county fair.
Another thing that I found odd is that well, I notice too much similarities on the antagonist with Norman Bates from Psycho, at least the film s Norman Bates since I still need to read the novel to compare but definitely the antagonist is nothing so fresh and or original and well, it s Stephen King that we are talking about and I d expect a original character.
I had struggles with the protagonist, not at first, he was doing quite well, but without spoiling, there is a crutial moment, when he is affected by an attack made by the antagonist where the result should be too shocking, but I didn t felt it in that way, he was able to think, he was able to start to give orders to his sidekicks in a very reasonable way, and honestly, I thought that he d need at least a day, if not to cope with what happened and then, to start to think in a counter strategy The story keeps telling to the reader that he is supposed to be sad, but honestly I felt it as cold as the antagonist most people are sheep and sheep don t eat meat.
On the climax don t worry I won t do spoilers the protagonist isn t the hero , I mean the one to catch with his own hands the evil antagonist and it s something done by the sidekicks , and I think that there is a reason of why a character is the protagonist and why others are supportive characters and or sidekicks And I think that the book had too much pages in a story like this one, investing pages in detailing sub events that they aren t so relevant or that they could be narrated faster without so many details Fewer pages and a faster tempo could increase the possitive impact of the overall story.
Let s talk about three star reviews for a minute I feel like three star review in today s world means whatever is being reviewed isn t good And, man, I just don t know if that s fair I feel like our expectations are too high now, and I m right there in the mix thumbing at my nose at anything rated an average three stars ExamplesI m currently in freaking Honolulu hot damn Hawaii which I think is the closest thing we have to what heaven will be like and I m finding myself on Yelp or TripAdvisor checking out local restaurants and my privileged, world revolves around Justin self is like, Whoa ho ho ho now whoa ok hold on there We are not eating at that restaurant They have an average rating of 3.
5 stars Nope No way What else is around me And I m not walking than 4 minutes from this exact spot I m standing in right now, by God Or I find myself on looking at mundane stuff like vacuum cleaners and I just want a good deal and something I can plug in to suck up dirt from my carpet and I m all like, Alright this is a good price and it ships Prime, but ahhhhh man average of 3.
8 Gaahhhh what are people saying Oh ok it works but it s nothing special I need I need than an ordinary vacuum cleaner I can t bring some average vacuum into my house Give me a break Get outta town and take the bus And I feel like the same thing happens to me on Goodreads But the times I ve gotten over myself and read a quote unquote average book, I ve loved it The Dinner and Then We Came to the End are two examples So let s boost the three star review up a little bit It s a good rating It shouldn t have to focus on all the negative things about it I gave this book 3 stars but I immediately picked up Finders Keepers It s a good book Stephen King did a great job with it There s stuff I wasn t crazy about but who cares Three stars Well done I was entertained I really enjoyed reading it I think it s better than most contemporary mystery writers come up with these days It unfolded at a great pace and really had that old timey hard boiled feel to it Give it up, America Three stars for Mr Mercedes That s what it deserves and I enjoyed it Alright.
New York Times Bestseller In A High Suspense Race Against Time, Three Of The Most Unlikely Heroes Stephen King Has Ever Created Try To Stop A Lone Killer From Blowing Up Thousands Mr Mercedes Is A Rich, Resonant, Exceptionally Readable Accomplishment By A Man Who Can Write In Whatever Genre He Chooses The Washington PostIn The Frigid Pre Dawn Hours, In A Distressed Midwestern City, Desperate Unemployed Folks Are Lined Up For A Spot At A Job Fair Without Warning, A Lone Driver Plows Through The Crowd In A Stolen Mercedes, Running Over The Innocent, Backing Up, And Charging Again Eight People Are Killed Fifteen Are Wounded The Killer Escapes In Another Part Of Town, Months Later, A Retired Cop Named Bill Hodges Is Still Haunted By The Unsolved Crime When He Gets A Crazed Letter From Someone Who Self Identifies As The Perk And Threatens An Even Diabolical Attack, Hodges Wakes Up From His Depressed And Vacant Retirement, Hell Bent On Preventing Another Tragedy Brady Hartsfield Lives With His Alcoholic Mother In The House Where He Was Born He Loved The Feel Of Death Under The Wheels Of The Mercedes, And He Wants That Rush Again Only Bill Hodges, With Two New, Unusual Allies, Can Apprehend The Killer Before He Strikes Again And They Have No Time To Lose, Because Brady S Next Mission, If It Succeeds, Will Kill Or Maim Thousands Mr Mercedes Is A War Between Good And Evil, From The Master Of Suspense Whose Insight Into The Mind Of This Obsessed, Insane Killer Is Chilling And Unforgettable Now An ATT Audience original Series WINNER OF THE EDGAR AWARD FOR BEST NOVEL Every religion lies Every moral precept is a delusion Even the stars are a mirage The truth is darkness, and the only thing that matters is making a statement before one enters it Cutting the skin of the world and leaving a scar That s all history is, after all scar tissue Detective Bill Hodges is 62, overweight, divorced and retired He lives alone and has an uncomfortably familiar relationship with his father s pistol The two spend long hours together in front of the tube, taking in the sort of Maury Povich mind poison that is probably grown in basement vats to be sold to post lobotomy viewers for the price of a gazillion commercials, disposable hours of a pointless life, and a willingness to cash in one s remnant humanity for a permanent gig as a morality blind multi eyed sofa spud Brendan Gleason as Bill Hodges from the TV series siteHodges had been on the job when a particularly heinous crime had been committed, but was out before he could find the evil doer His pre suicidal reverie is disturbed by the non postal service delivery of a printed message The nut job who did the crime taunts Hodges for his failure, and encourages him to take his suicidal contemplation a step further Fat chance.
As far as the term hard boiled goes, I feel pretty comfortable applying it to eggs cooked in water until the yolk is firm As for hard boiled fiction, there are probably as many different definitions as there are diverse sorts of egg layers So I will offer no litmus test here to measure whether Mr Mercedes satisfies a certain set of definitional criteria Is it truly hard boiled or not Is it truly noir ish or not To which I can only reply Sorry dear, did you say something Could you pass the bourbon, please There are many sub categories of the mystery genre, 14 of which are noted for your pleasure on the web site of the Seattle Mystery bookshop And I am certain that Mr Mercedes fits nicely into one of them But whether you prefer your mystery tales hard boiled, soft boiled, poached, scrambled, fried or over easy, the one thing that counts here is the chef author Whatever he does with and to the genre, Stephen King will take you for a ride that includes at least a bit and maybe than a bit of a scare And scary is scary whether the source is a haunted house, a psycho alien clown or a very sick puppy.
Harry Treadway as Brady Hartsfield from the TV seriesSaid sick puppy opens this story by driving the large Mercedes of the title directly into a crowd of the hopeful and desperate at a job fair in an unnamed Midwest town, killing eight and seriously injuring over a dozen King talks about the genesis of this scene here, in a video clip from TV station WABI in Maine Not a recreational activity most of us might indulge in, but for Brady Harstfield murdering and maiming constitutes good times He makes ends meet as a house calling IT guy His second job is as an ice cream vendor And, while it is fun to see Brady in his white truck gig, it did feel rather forced If you are expecting Raymond Chandler here, or Dashiell Hammett, you will have to holster your expectations There will be no trying to figure out whodunit in this story The looney tunes with the diminished conscience and enlarged mommy issues is presented straight away as our psycho killer So, Columbo than Marlowe The trail we follow is in how the goodies discover and find their way to the baddie.
You know who from mydaytondailynews.
comErstwhile Detective Hodges takes the lead King spends some time with introductions, as Mr Mercedes is the first of a planned trilogy So we get to know a bit about him and his partners in anti crime Jerome Robinson is 17, black, 6 5 , a computer whiz, within reason, and Ivy League bound He has been doing some lawn work and occasional IT assistance for Hodges, and is the closest thing the old guy has to a friend Holly Gibney, 44, has issues, having spent a few sessions in institutions for the very nervous She is a cousin to the late owner of the Mercedes that was used in the carnage Hodges met her as he looked into the death of her cuz Her mother Charlotte is an awful human being, controlling, greedy, and incapable of seeing Holly s better qualities She has some, intelligence and tenacity being high on that list This oddball trio the Harper Road Irregulars work the case, without, of course, involving the police any than absolutely necessary I found them extremely engaging Jerome is probably too perfect, and Holly may be a bit too twitchy, but they are fun to follow Kelly Lynch as Deborah Hartsfield not the ideal mom with her 1 son image from the TV seriesKing shows his playfulness with the genre, whatever genre it actually is Of course, Hodges is just a retired detective not a PI, but when Holly s aunt, Janelle Patterson, named, surely, for a certain author King has called a terrible writer hires him he takes a step in the genre direction I have vowed not to make any jejune comments regarding private dicks Janelle even buys him what she calls a Philip Marlowe fedora Janelle is, of course, the mandatory femme fatale, but if so, she is on the light side, lacking some of the attributes normally associated with that type Could Hodges Harper Road address be a nod to Ross McDonald s Lew Harper The baddie references several cop dramas, NYPD Blue, Homicide, and The Wire, for example Luther and Prime Suspect are noted as well, in a disparaging way Mentions of Wambaugh and Grisham appear, and King double dips by naming a records department cop Marlo There are undoubtedly many , but those are the ones that jumped out at me.
Jharrel Jerome as Jerome Robinson from the TV seriesKing lets us look over Brady s shoulder as well as over Hodges , and tosses in some third party views as well Parenthood comes in for a difficult time Only Jerome, of all the major, or even secondary characters, has a decent parent child relationship with his actual family Of course bubbly family life is not exactly a staple of detective fiction, so that fits well enough Madness is the doorway that writers step through when they want to introduce a bit of fantasy to an otherwise real world scenario And SK simply could not help himself Mr Mercedes is most definitely a non fantasy novel, but there are a few really, only a few moments when familiar King woo woo material appears It will be interesting to see if this is a recurring feature in his trilogy or if SK can stay on the non fantasy wagon for the entire ride Mary Louise Parker as Janey Patterson the client from the TV seriesSo what s the bottom line here Stephen King cranks out novels, it seems, like Hershey produces kisses They are all tasty and appealing, but there is a definite sameness to the product King can draw readers in He offers engaging characters, and understands the mechanics of tension and release as well as any living writer Put a red wrapper on it and it remains a tasty treat Blue Same deal I bet if King wanted to write a historical romance it would have engaging characters, some danger, some resolution It would pull you in and hold on like a succubus no, not public transportation through a red light district view spoiler or like a succubus on a private dick Sorry, I just could not stop myself But at least I put the offending material under a spoiler tag, so that makes it ok, right hide spoiler This is only the second Stephen King book in which I ve actually managed to get past the first few pages I don t know what is about his writing, but it really does not draw me in This, however, was an exception The fast nature of the plot resulted in a novel that was a real page turner, but it s not without its faults A cold trail Detective Hodges has solved all of his cases but one the Mercedes massacre Just a few months before he was to retire a madman drove into a crowd of job seekers with a stolen Mercedes The result was the deaths of eight people, and, to make matters worse, one of them was a baby The murderer s identity is completely unknown to the police The culprit has left no clues or forensic evidence The only lead they had was the car itself and that is another dead end The trail has gone completely cold.
Hodges has now retired and is contemplating suicide he has nothing to fill his days now that he is no longer a member of the police Until one day the post arrives, and amongst the usual junk mail is a letter from the killer himself Mr Mercedes He goads the detective into interacting with him on a private social media website This results in a deadly game between the two men, which was the novel s strong point This game of cat and mouse made it interesting The detective eventually begins to outsmart the killer, he has been dealing with men like this all his professional life after all thus the goader becomes the goaded and sets himself up for a fall A generic bad guy In spite of the suspense created through the plot, I still felt that the bad guy was nothing original I ve seen his like many times before he was very a typical He acts like a creep, so what better place for a creep to live than in his mother s basement And what better way to show his perversity than having him in an incestuous relationship with his mother This felt like nothing I haven t seen in a dozen movies or television shows I d have liked the Mercedes killer to be unique and memorable because at this point he can easily be put under the category of standard bad guy with all seen many times before That being said though, I did enjoy the alternating points of view between him and the detective I think this helped to lead to a exciting climax Overall, I did enjoy this but would have given it a higher rating if Mr Mercedes was original He was just very standard and generally quite forgettable Generally speaking I tend to avoid this novelist and modern crime thrillers in general, so this was way out of my comfort zone And the book didn t convince me to read any I have the second book on my shelf it s been sat there for almost two years, and I still haven t picked it up At this point, I m not sure if I ever will A fair 2.
5 stars.
Freakishly fantastic book Stephen King is one of the authors that never disappoints me And Bill Hodges is a new book character favorite of mine Comparison is the thief joyTheodore RooseveltThe above sentiment couldn t be true, even in the context of comparing books This comparison may be a small insult to these novels but for me, Mr Mercedes read like a less clever cross between Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba You by Caroline Kepnes.
The dynamic between depressed, retired cop, Bill Hodges your friendly neighborhood psychopath, Brady Hartsfield, is reminiscent of that between L Light Yagami Two intelligent men caught up in a game of cat and mouse, quickly moving pieces back forth on a chess board of Who Will Catch Who Except their story is not nearly as compelling.
Brady is written similarly to Joe Goldberg They re both hilarious in their excessive judgement of everyone around them They re both overwhelmingly fixated on one individual They both have weird ideas about what it means to be aroused Except Brady is not nearly as relatable It s possible that without having read these books prior to, I would ve enjoyed Mr Mercedes a bit But even without those comparisons, this story fell flat for me.
There was never a time while reading that I found myself wondering what would happen Which is kind of a bummer for a novel pegged as a Mystery Thriller.
It s as though the two main perspectives were not written distinctly enough to be convincing Multiple times throughout, one character would decide to do something the other character would immediately think of that specific thing in the next chapter or two Why Because they re just that on the ball I m not buying it.
The back forth between hero villain is supposed to be powerful and exciting It s not supposed to read like a script Instead of building suspense, it comes off as cheesy predictable Not to mention for a murderous mastermind, Brady is kind of an idiot From the synopsis, we know he stole a Mercedes, drove it into a crowd of folks, and evaded capture by the local authorities However, none of his subsequent actions actually lead me to believe he s the same guy who committed that crime got away with it.
He exhibits some capability with computers, but in general he seems too impulsive hot headed to be much of a threat Brady s characterization by association sort of weakens the effect of Hodges ability as a detective On top of that, Hodges does a very poor job convincing me that he truly has the best interest of the public at heart Much of the time I was hoping he would break down and take the case to active police, but even at the risk of harming others Hodges is determined to occupy the vigilante role.
My absolute least favorite aspect of this novel is the female characters.
Unfortunately, Mr Mercedes suffers from Women in Refrigerators syndrome Most of the female characters in this novel are used entirely for the benefit or characterization of the male leads.
Take this quoteThe woman he slept with after he d come to a point in his life where he thought he d never sleep with any woman again The woman who made him laugh and gave him comfort The woman who wrinkled her nose at him and mocked his yeah Notice how this paragraph is constructed entirely to explain the role of the female s importance to the male character, and not to explain her individual attributes She s not the woman with an impeccable sense of humor, she s the woman who made him laugh gave him comfort Without having read the book, this point may not be as apparent The problem is, I can t tell you a damn thing about this woman outside the context of her male counterpart If this wasn t enough, we re then treated to this lovely sentimentHodges has never even considered the idea that Mr Mercedes might actually be Mrs Mercedes He supposes it s technically possible, and it would make a neat solution for an Agatha Christie novel but this is real life Oh wait, I forgot women don t actually kill people in real life Sure, you can cite statistics about male vs female crime rates, but does it make sense for a retired cop with years of experience to relegate this possibility strictly to fictional circumstances This novel was written in 2014, for God s sake I realize that Hodges is a 60 year old man, but seeing as he s the sympathetic hero of the tale I just can t get on board Neither the novel, nor the characterization would ve suffered by omitting this line So why 2 stars instead of 1 It s because this wasn t bad enough to fall that far from grace It made me chuckle a couple of times it wasn t written terribly But I could ve gotten the same thrill from turning on the television flipping to the nearest episode of Law Order or CSI.
As pointed out by my friend Celeste,With a show like that, you re giving up an hour of your life Not 14 Unfortunately, Mr Mercedes is just not the intricately woven tale of murder mystery originality that I wanted it to be It s entertaining to an extent, but it doesn t leave a lasting impression It doesn t cause me to contemplate or question When the book runs out of pages, it doesn t continue to live in my mind.
With this being my first Stephen King book, I didn t go into it with any real expectations I know he s hit miss even with some of his biggest fans, and so I intend to give his other books a chance Perhaps a horror story next Thank you Celeste for buddy reading this with me even though I was an asshole read it way too fast This review and other reviews of mine can be found on Book Nest MR MERCEDES has an opening that epitomizes Stephen King s mastery of character In a few short pages, King captures with well placed dialogue and introspection the struggles of two people who are trying to keep their heads above water in our unstable economy Then everything goes terribly wrong for these two people three, if you count the most unfortunate soul in the crowd , and the reader realizes that anything, and everything, is possible in this shocking and brilliant thriller.
When we re introduced to Det Ret K William Hodges, our protagonist, the reader is still reeling from the opening pages, but King manages the segue well enough, tossing us into a rather humorous scenario unfolding on Hodges s television He s watching a Jerry Springer style talk show which also gives a nod to Dr Phil , and hilarity ensues The juxtaposition is startling, like an ice cube down your back on a hot day, and you re wondering how you could be laughing after having read such a horrific opening only moments before Because Stephen King That s how For all of this novel s strengths, the ending shines the brightest One could say this is because King s written some lackluster endings over the past decade the exception being JOYLAND, which I gave five stars to as well , but the truth of the matter is that MR MERCEDES has one of the most satisfying conclusions I ve ever read Sheer perfection The last half of this book is a race to the finish, and by the time I reached the section entitled PROCLAMATION I was out of breath and both physically and mentally exhausted I was blind sided by the reveal at the 50% mark Then again at the 65% mark Both of these events coupled with the tragic opening gave me a sense of dread so thick I almost had a panic attack I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Brady was going to win.
Ah, yes, Brady Brady Hartsfield is Annie Wilkes ramped up to the umpteenth degree He s a real life monster that chills you to your bone And his crazy escalates as the novel progresses I ve always loved books that put me in the minds of their antagonists, but Brady s the first heavy whose head I simply wanted to GTFO of A perfect match for Brady is his equally insane mother Their relationship is revolting, and they both meet fitting ends Poor Frankie Poor, poor Frankie.
Here s where the nerd in me comes out King references IT, CHRISTINE, and Joe Hill s HEART SHAPED BOX I believe there is a reference to CREEPSHOW, as well, but I haven t been able to confirm that yet It s been years since I saw that movie I loves me some Easter eggs, yes I does.
In summation One of King s best works, period If you hate King, I m apt to believe MR MERCEDES would be the first book of his you d enjoy, because it s bereft of lag and strenuous detail If you re new to King, you can t go wrong by starting here If you re a Constant Reader, you ll be pleasantly surprised My highest recommendation.


I have been a King fan since I was 9 years old, which I d say qualifies as lifelong fandom I ve read every book he s written that I can get my greedy fangirl hands on but this This was a clusterfuck I had to literally force myself to finish it a first in my 20 years of Constant Readership Even his weakest books have always kept me turning the pages out of a need to know what happens next But this one I truly didn t care It was my need to be a King library completionist that kept me going The book played no part there and I swear it was doing it s best to get me to give up I am so disappointed by this book I had so many issues with it that I don t even know if my incoherent ranting will even get close to hitting all the high points of my annoyance and frustration But, oh, I m gonna try Stephen King may be one of my favorite authors, but that s no reason not to call a shit book shit If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it s a fucking duck So, where to begin I guess I ll start with the most important aspect of any book to me the characters I cannot even begin to describe how disappointing the characters were to me in this book One of my favorite things about Stephen King is usually his ability to bring a character to life, and to make me identify with them almost instantly I ve given him massive amounts of praise in the past for being able to do in 5 lines what lesser authors can t manage in a full novel, which is writing a convincing character But in Mr Mercedes Nope Not even close Apparently Blockbuster was giving away the last of their cardboard cutouts the day King wrote this mess, and he must have stocked up, because they re everywhere in this book There s not a single fucking character that felt anywhere close to being in the neighborhood of his usual standards of character writing These were flat, cliched, chess pieces moved into position to progress the plot from A to B to C Nothing , though sometimes quite a bit less From the very first lines of the book, the dialogue felt stiff and unrealistic and stilted I mean, let s look at the first two characters we meet Augie and Janice They meet while camping out overnight for a job fair This right here leads me to assume that both are unemployed and looking for work yet Augie feels the need to explain to her what downsized means the twenty first century way of saying I got canned No, pretty sure that s also the 20th century way, too so even though Janice might be young, she s probably heard the term and can put it together from context with the situation But that right there is also a huge problem I had throughout the entire book Needless explanation and confirmation of even the most obvious things This book is about as subtle as a boot to the face and not in a good pull no punches way, but in a Bond Villain Explains It All kind of way, where there s no conversation to be had where there s any ambiguity about anything I digress So then we meet Janice, who is I don t know I think we re supposed to feel sorry for her, young and naive and unemployed with a little baby and few prospects but then I think about how ridiculous she sounds when she s saying that since she popped a tiny human out of her vagina while being both single AND unmarried, she suddenly wants to apologize to and for the world and all of history Because, gee golly, doesn t that just make her so likable Isn t it just terrible that such a nice girl should be in such a tough position, and wouldn t it just be terrible er still if tragedy were to strike These are the very first two cardboard chess pieces put into place, intended as sacrificial victims to tweak our empathy glands and start us getting all amped up for someone to take down this sadistic killer Every character in this book sounded the same, probably because they are the same cutout the only difference is what they are wearing Janey s cutout has a blonde wig on with her Hi My name is Janey sticker name tag Jerome s name is on another cutout s name tag, and he s black in case you forgot , and he s wearing a tie, so you know he s smart Bill s has sandbags tied on he s overweight and he s wearing a fedora and a badge and then there s Mr Mercedes himself, who has angry eyebrows drawn on over a big fake smile and he s carrying a remote control, some car keys, and an iPad and last but not least, there s Holly, who has a Lexapro pill bottle where her name tag should be, and she s wearing a lank gray wig and shapeless burlap sack dress while smoking a cigarette They all have to wear name tags because otherwise you d forget their names or mix them up And likewise in the book, they all have to keep insisting on what they like to be called, so you can feel closer to them, a pseudo familiarity that never quite actually makes it to anything that feels real But never mind their appearances look at their dialogue bubbles You could detach their little dialogue bubbles, randomly reassign them to different cutouts, and probably never even tell the difference.
Everyone had this oversharing bug Ask them a yes or no question, and they d give you answers to that, as well as to questions you didn t ask Do you have a safe No, but I can rent one I bank at Bank of America down the street How often do you see your mother Every other day or so Sometimes I take her food from the Iranian restaurant she and Ollie liked the Sunny Acres kitchen staff is happy to warm it up and sometimes I bring her a DVD or two She likes the oldies, like with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers I always bring her something, and she s always happy to see me On her good days she does see me On her bad ones, she s apt to call me Olivia Or Charlotte That s my aunt I also have an uncle Do you have a car Yup It s a 2004 Toyota Camry which is burgundy a shade of red and I recently drove it after I started it with my key that I use to turn it on Also I recently saw a movie with Will Smith in it It was at the drive in which is two blocks down on the left past the Burger King where Annie works the night shift and makes the best Whoppers Also on that block is a movie theater but that s not where I saw the movie , a pet store, three Starbucks locations, and a Yayogurt factory There s a shoe store 15 minutes from here I like cheese Kumquat Seriously This shit is strewn throughout the whole fucking book, melting my brain and making me honestly think that Stephen King farmed this book out to Dean Koontz, or the gardener, or the ice cream man It s the only explanation that makes sense I just I can t stand the thought that Stephen King wrote this THE Stephen King Wrote THIS My poor brain So, we have flat, cliched, person shaped cardboard game pieces with no filters to know when to ever stop talking EVER And OMG were they fucking irritating the hell out of me First, the fat shaming Hodges is described as being overweight by about 30 lbs He and everyone else acted like being 30 lbs overweight was grotesque and detestable, and the mere fact of being overweight made him less worthy as a person He acts like 30 lbs is a fucking coffin he was dragging around behind him He doesn t understand why a woman would want to have sex with an old overweight slob such as himself though with good reason there, because she sure the fuck didn t seem attracted to him But on this in a minute This fat shaming is something that I ve quietly taken issue with before in King s writing particularly in Thinner, where the main character was a WHOPPING 50 lbs overweight but it felt especially aggravating on top of everything else in this book The way Hodges weight was harped on in this book, I was surprised that he could even stand, or walk around and function in society, what with all that extra tonnage he s carrying around Being overweight is NOT the worst thing in the world, and continually slipping in little judgemental comments about size is fat shaming, pure and simple, and it s fucking irritating Maybe King didn t mean it to come across that way, and I hope that s the case, but there you go It pissed me off As a nice little segue into my next issue, let s turn our attention to Ms Janey, who didn t trust Hodges to be on top during sex because of his weight he might crush her but than that, she didn t allow him to even participate at all in the sex No touching, no talking except her lecturing and exclamations of Oh, that s deep eyeroll , and no moving at all In fact, Bill, if you could just detach yourself from the dick and go in the other room, that would be even better for her so that she can get off without your pesky man needs getting in her way Goodness I had to take a cold shower after that steamy scene Some people might say Yeah A strong independent woman who knows what she wants and isn t afraid to demand it Except no Her demands as to how she wants to have sex are fucking creepy she might as well have slipped him a roofie and fucked his unconscious body for all the input he was allowed But of course Hodges is just happy to be sticking it ANYWHERE, so he s not complaining, and therefore nothing s wrong As for her being independent and strong, nope again She s not strong, or independent at all She claims to be strong, but she needs him to hold her hand through every single thing she does throughout the rest of the book, including facing her own family, which Bill doesn t know from Adam because he s only known HER for a little while She can t do anything at all by herself, and all of the things she claims that she s going to not be intimidated into doing she does, or at least compromises on.
And I m sorry, but How s your cholesterol is NOT an OK morning after question As if that s in ANY way any of her fucking business AND he was making her breakfast Oh, you were looking for bacon, fatty I don t have any I eat whole wheat toast and air Both are dry and devoid of flavor, like my personality What a bitch.
And no, that s not concern that made her ask she has no right to ask someone she barely knows what his current state of heart health is That s being a nosy ass fat shaming bitch trying to make him feel shitty about wanting to have bacon instead of twigs and barley for breakfast I don t know why Hodges even likes her besides the she lets me put it in reason She is judgemental, not very nice, and she makes fun of him Oh, but right, it s the sweet, TEASING, kind of making fun Like how she mocks him for saying yeah This nouveau riche woman, who is recently divorced from a cokehead abuser, acts like she s slumming it with an ex cop who s so cute when he uses his slang Yeah Look how ridiculous it sounds when she says it back to him I totally see why they got the hots for each other They are both shitheads.
Then there s Jerome, who has to remind everyone that he s black by lapsing into a fucking disturbing stereotypical and racist slave jive or something I don t even know how to describe it I just know I wanted to punch him in the face every time he did it Holly started out with no personality, and then ended up with the same one everyone else shared It s like the fucking Borg Resistance is futile But she would like everyone to know, just all the time that she s taking her Lexapro again And OMG WHAT WAS WITH HER REPEATING EVERYTHING THREE FUCKING TIMES I GET that she s got mental issues but come on She suddenly reverts to a 3 year old having a tantrum just randomly Call him Call him Call him Do it Do it Do it OMFG STFU Brady Meh Was he scary Sure Because he could be anyone But really he s just a fucked up spoiled ass teenager stuck in his rebellious fuck the world phase, with a little dash of daddy wasn t there and a good helping of mommy issues Anyway Enough about the characters Let s talk about the pop culture references for a sec This shit was ridiculous King has always included popular culture tidbits in his stories, and usually I find they add something to the experience I grew up reading his books, so it was like I was a part of the story But this one No Just no Because of most of the characters ages, and the dialogue being so whatever it was this felt to me like it was written for an older audience Which makes sense, because King is getting up there in age But then it feels like someone at the publishing house read it and was like Yeah we re gonna need you to jazz this up a bit We need to connect with a younger audience So Jerome was edged down to be a 17 year old, and then someone sprinkled random cool or cutesy terms they d heard or invented throughout the text And, as much of it actually felt kind of condescending and judgemental, it sure the hell didn t work for me in any way Some examples While watching Jerry Springer yeah, it s never named, but come on, we all know it was Jerry , Hodges comments on a guest s tramp stamps A tramp stamp is a specific kind of tattoo, placed on the lower back of a woman which people guys seem to think signify that the girl who gets one is a slut The term tramp stamp is not synonymous with tattoo One does not have a tramp stamp on one s ankle It s a lower back tattoo, specifically A 62 year old retired white ex cop should not use the term moms Period If you d ever checked the owner s manual, Mom, maybe just to see what all those cute little lights on the dashboard signify Really So, women think that the dashboard of a car is just full of cute little lights Because apparently we re just too braindead to understand what the pictures mean Oh, if only we could have a man TELL us what it all means What a ignorant dick thing to think Fuck off Hodges calls Holly s medication little white happy caps Again with the condescension It s not as though she s a bored housewife popping Xanax and washing it down with margaritas while getting a mani pedi That is her medication, and it just seems super fucking rude to act like they are anything less Alrighty I m just getting and irritated now I m gonna wrap this up I don t see any justification for the awards and commendations that Hodges has received in his career He basically relied on Holly and Jerome to solve the case for him He sat on information, followed his hunches, and jumped to conclusions based on nothing than his intuition To me, it s unforgivable that he should go the route he did in this investigation He poked a dozing dragon, not thinking about the fact that the dragon breathes fire and that fire spreads But no everything is about Hodges Such ego He wrote HODGES the letter, therefore he s the ONLY one who could ever possibly be at risk if things go bad Of course I also thought that it was just SUPER convenient that every time Hodges called his old partner, he had just made a super huge bustarino and had no time for anything Mr Mercedes related Just such ridiculousness in this book Every page had me rolling my eyes at least once I can t even Just Ugh I m done I m turning off my glowbox and going to bed Fuck this shit.
Is this book perfect Nope Did I go completely fan girl over it Yep.
Stephen Fricking King You never fail to surprise me.
This book did lag in a few spots for me There was a insta love going on I don t give a sheeet Hodges.
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a 64 year old retired cop gets a letter from one of the worst characters I ve ever met in a book The hunt is on I got swept up in this book and now I m crying a little yes my cold heart does that occasionally This book has characters that I was cheering so hard for by the end of it that my family was looking at me like I was nuts OK so it s happened before shut up This isn t normal King though This is crime fiction with a hard on.
There is a bit of overload on the computer stuff Enough to scare the shit out of you at least Who cares And here it is Best Ever line from a book Any system created by the mind of man can be hacked by the mind of man You feel me.
ETA My wonderful husband and I were discussing Stephen King a whole lot while reading this book I asked him if we ever met Stephen King if I could sit on his laphis answer Honey, I M going to sit on his lap Get read King Man.
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get ready ADDED My hubby might be a ding dong On a scrap piece of paper I had copied down the quote from this book I wanted to use.
This morning I see this Yeah, I feel ya, WTF The smartass.